I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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