I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
