Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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