Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When did angry sex become our thing?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
