he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
