guys are not supposed to queef...right?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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