Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
