Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
