so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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