I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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