ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
