You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have tasted many bathrooms
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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