come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
