love makes seman taste better
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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