Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
