You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
