What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
