Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
