Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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