I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
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