i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
