Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
