Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
