My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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