The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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