In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
