on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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