do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
