I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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