So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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