I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
