I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize