she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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