You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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