Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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