nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
