I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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