I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
