Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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