I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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