girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
