apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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