Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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