i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
