You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
