FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
