i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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