..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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