There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
