This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
