maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
